The Wildhearts

So I'll start............................

What's the difference between Heather Mills and a Venus fly-trap?

A Venus fly-trap is a plant. Heather Mills is a cunt.

On a more serious note Mcartney did write the Frog Chorus so he got his karmic revenge heheheh

On the actual serious note, I think she was lucky getting what she did, I doubt she even deserved fifty pee of his fortune

She definitely deserved pee.

And a first round entry into the Hungarian Fish-Slapping Dance.

She was so excited about the 24.3 million squid settlement that she went out and bought herself a new plane; She's gonna keep using Ladyshave for the other leg.

It's a very sad world we live in when Sir Paul McCartney and his wife are facing divorce and all anyone seems to want to do is make jokes about her false leg. Personally, I think it's prosthetic.

Ringo Starr talking to Paul McCartney and he says:

'are you going to go down on one knee again anytime?'

Paul says, 'I doubt it very much, but I wish you'd call her Heather'

I think that the reference to her alcoholism may have something to do with the split. Apparently she has a taste for Special Brew, and is said to be able to drink 50 cans in a session. YES, 50 Cans !!!
I think that woman must have a hollow leg!

We under estimate poor Heather, she's actually very intelligent you know! Last year she qualified for the World Chess Masters... unfortunately though she didn't quite make it to the second leg.

Paul bought her a spare wooden leg for Christmas. It wasn't her main present though, just a stocking filler

Sarc wrote:So I'll start............................

What's the difference between Heather Mills and a Venus fly-trap?

A Venus fly-trap is a plant. Heather Mills is a cunt.

After her outburst on GMTV, a medical spokesperson said that Heather Mills was "clearly unbalanced".

Sir Paul phoned in & advised that placing a book under her leg usually did the trick.

blatantly whipped from B3TA

Sarc wrote:blatantly whipped from B3TA

that is ace

there's a lad on our table at work who is always talking about heather mills, every single day i am so pissed off with hearing her name an when i saw this thread i thought "thanks very much sarcy boy is there nowhere i can go to escape this woman"

but having read some of the jokes they did make me giggle so its not all bad

Its baby mills

You're a sick, sick man!

I know thats why I've been signed off work for the last year, and I'm getting really bored now.

Sarc wrote:I know thats why I've been signed off work for the last year, and I'm getting really bored now.

i thought this was your job?

nig1012 wrote:

Sarc wrote:I know thats why I've been signed off work for the last year, and I'm getting really bored now.

i thought this was your job?

Awww man that'd be great being paid by whoever owns this board to just post complete bollocks that has very little to no actuall connection with the main post even if i started the thread in the first place, for example this, I started this one off so we could all have our digs at Mucca and here we are about eight posts in talking about whether this is my job or not, man i love this board.
Mrs Sarcs got nowt on you lot,