by Damian » 11th Oct 07, 21:29
As well as the bulletin on the God Damn Whores Myspace page, there's this on the page itself:
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THE GOD DAMN WHORES SUPPORT CARDIACS! YOUR LOYALTY DEMANDS!!
We are extremely excited to announce that we will be supporting CARDIACS on their forthcoming tour of the UK this coming November.
This has come as a particular surprise to me, RANDOM JON POOLE, as I have had no contact with THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN since 2003 when I was ordered to vacate CARDIACS premises and banished to a stint in THE WILDHEARTS.
(I did infiltrate the ranks one time last year but have been forbidden ever to mention it so no details are forthcoming.)
I have now been temporarily welcomed back but must stress NOT with open arms as direct eye contact and verbal pleasantries between myself and THE ALPHABET BUSINESS CONCERN have been postponed indefinitely until further notice leaving us, THE GOD DAMN WHORES, with the vile task of warming up a potentially frosty "crowd" with our jarring poptones.
This is where YOU, the GOD DAMN WHORES FANATIC, come into play.
Here is the dilemma:
The powers that be believe that THE GOD DAMN WHORES have no appeal or mind control over YOU the GOD DAMN WHORES FANATIC.
"How dare they...", I hear you say, "...ridicule our beloved WHORES with slanderous banter and blatant untruths regarding our loyalty to OUR WHORES!"
We need more than ever before for YOU to help us with your most loyal support and to stick it to THE MAN once and for all.
We, THE GOD DAMN WHORES, would like to appeal to you, GOD DAMN WHORES FANATIC, to come and support us by attending said concert performances.
Wherever possible it would be HUGELY appreciated if tickets could be purchased in advance.
This will stop THE MAN from getting twitchy and will keep him securely "in his place".
For all the fortunate CHOSEN ONES who make THE ONLY LOGICAL DECISION to attend, I, RANDOM JON POOLE, will make every effort to meet and greet all GOD DAMN WHORES FANATICS at every performance.
And whyever not? I can't think of anything better than hanging with "the kids" after our opening slot is done, taking in the majesty and charisma of the fantastic CARDIACS in the company of my favourite WHORE FANATICS.
MAKE YOURSELF KNOWN!
Let us drink together, raise glasses and toast US. This is OUR ARMY.
YOUR LOYALTY DEMANDS...