Wierd things you've seen.

[SpikyDave]

How about a transsexual running at me screaming death-threats while drawing a samurai sword from inside an umbrella...?

...& the realisation that he/she was wearing a shell-suit...

...seriously, a 'woman' with a 5 o' clock shadow running at you screaming "LOOK, I'VE GOT TITS, (revealing said 'tits' in the process), WANNA MAKE SUMMAT OF IT?!!" whilst wielding a deadly weapon that had a minute earlier been concealed inside a weather-repelling device that would not have been out of place on the person of a Ms M. Poppins.

And to top it all off, I got home & skinned up a massive spliff & just as I was toking the dregs I heard the doorbell ring, went to answer it & found myself blowing out some hardcore smoke in the face of...a police officer.

Perfect end to a perfect night, eh?

[wildsam6o]

my mate *broke* his leg about a year ago,

we all went out on a thursday night in wolverhampton and we was ungry so we went to the 24 hour asda, he jumped a wall with about a 20 foot drop, landed on one leg and it totally bent out of place, i mean it was like jelly (looked like those double jointed action man figures where u can pull there legs forward)



we got him to his feet and he put pressure on it, then it suddenly cracked and it was back to normal............

his leg was totally demolished tho!

weird stuff!

[spoon_of_grimbo]

How about a transsexual running at me screaming death-threats while drawing a samurai sword from inside an umbrella...?

...& the realisation that he/she was wearing a shell-suit...

...seriously, a 'woman' with a 5 o' clock shadow running at you screaming "LOOK, I'VE GOT TITS, (revealing said 'tits' in the process), WANNA MAKE SUMMAT OF IT?!!" whilst wielding a deadly weapon that had a minute earlier been concealed inside a weather-repelling device that would not have been out of place on the person of a Ms M. Poppins.

And to top it all off, I got home & skinned up a massive spliff & just as I was toking the dregs I heard the doorbell ring, went to answer it & found myself blowing out some hardcore smoke in the face of...a police officer.

Perfect end to a perfect night, eh?

i think i speak for the majority when i say i'd really like to know what happened immediately before and after this!

[SpikyDave]

i think i speak for the majority when i say i'd really like to know what happened immediately before and after this!

Surprisingly little, actually.

Before - me & a couple of mates were at the Sheffield Uni Snowboarding Society social - for the record, I can't tell one end of a snowboard from the other but my housemate was the society's president. My other mate Helen happened to casually mention that some of the pub locals looked like they should live in Royston Vasey.

As it turned out, she was not wrong.

As an example she pointed out a ponytailed, stubbly-faced, shell-suited 'man' (how were we to know?!) holding an umbrella. She saw us & ran up to Helen & started screaming in her face from about an inch away & revealing her presumably recently-acquired jubblies in a manner that can be only described as 'disturbing'. The bouncers/barmen (who also looked a tad 'League of Gentlemen', but were really top blokes) persuaded her to leave but not before she drew her weapon (the sword, not her norks again) & screamed "I'LL FUCKIN' CUT YER!!!" The very apologetic barmen called the police for us & offered us some drinks on the house but we were less than keen to stick around so we gave our names & address to the blokes to pass on to the Rozzers & we were off quicker than a prom dress.

*...sinister film voice-over...*

"Later that evening..."

The doorbell rings, a dashingly handsome yet suprisingly modest ( ) chap who, for legal reasons we shall herein refer to as 'Dave', whilst enjoying the remains of a Moroocan woodbine, endeavoured to answer the door...

I'd love there to be some dramatic ending but actually I shouted Helen, buggered off upstairs to hide my weed & in the end, the PC made no mention of the fruity smelling smoke as, I imagine, he was more concerned by the freaky man-bint wandering the streets of South Yorkshire pretending to be the Flashing Blade. And I use the term 'flashing' advisedly.

Still, not a bad weirdo, as weirdos go. And as weirdos go, thankfully, she went.

[spoon_of_grimbo]

an epic tale indeed!!! i'm almost jealous that nothing as mental as that has happened to me!

[SpikyDave]

Actually, that one's only just better than the 'Nutter on the bus with the picnic & the power-drill' story & the 'Hiding from a violent Albino Yardie in a stranger's front garden whilst trying to summon a famous boxer's gangster brother for back-up' story.

But I'm saving those for the memoirs...

[longgoneloser]

I can honestly say that since i have moved to Melbourne, i have seen a huge amount of random chairs just out on sidewalks, in parks, on the sides of highways and main roads. And not the kind of benches that the council put there but like old couches, computer office chairs, etc. they just keep popping up all over the city, totally random.

Oh and someone thought it'd be funny to write the words "NECK FACE" on a wall in blue graffitti. I don't know what it means but it's pretty funny to start saying "you're a neckface" to randoms.

[macc lad]

I saw a dwarf pole dancing in a bar in Prague
must be the weirdest thing ive seen in the flesh so to speak !

[spoon_of_grimbo]

i feel i should probably contribute to this thread in the same way as i did the movie thread, and refer to the midget/amputee porn i saw on my boss' phone a coupla years back

[Ady]

i feel i should probably contribute to this thread in the same way as i did the movie thread, and refer to the midget/amputee porn i saw on my boss' phone a coupla years back

Obsessed. Maybe it left a scar....